leave us alone
I'm Just a Girl
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”—Margaret Atwood
Walking into the nearest Chipotle, I see his eyes meet mine. They flutter downward before slowly coming back up. By the time they reach my eyes again, I’ve already looked away. The lump in my throat won’t go down, and all I can feel is his stare burning into me.
I order my food and pretend I don’t notice the thirsty man who hasn’t left me alone despite never even approaching me. As he gets his order, he heads toward the door, turning back and flicking his tongue at me. I feel a disgusted shiver run down my spine and wait a few moments before looking to my boyfriend, whose hand is tightly wrapped around mine.
It seems like such a small interaction, but it happens all the time. For some reason, I thought once I got a boyfriend, it would stop. But the fact that I was taken didn’t really stop creeps, and maybe that was to be expected.
In the short span of time we’d been together, I’d had interactions with creeps every other day when I left my place—with or without him. When you’re single, it’s just the life of a single woman—but now that I’m taken, it feels even more unbearable.
One time, I hugged, kissed, and said goodbye to him, and a guy who saw us held the door open for me, watched me head to my dorm, then sent me a flirty DM on Instagram not even an hour later. When my friend confronted him about it days later, he said, “Not every girl cares about having a boyfriend.”
Girls pretend to be used to it, but you never really get used to it.
It just feels uncomfortable, like you’re being watched all the time. When I dress cute, wear tight clothing, or even do my makeup for the day, I feel this anxiety in my chest that makes me feel like I want to be seen in a certain way, just because I know I will be. But I just want to look my best—not for them, but for me, my boyfriend, and the girls.
How could I ever explain that we want to feel beautiful without being looked at like an item ready to be auctioned off?
I’ve heard the comments guys have said around me:
“She’s pretty, but her smile’s crooked.”
“She’s cute, but too chubby.”
“She’s gorgeous, but only with makeup.”
“She’s doable, but not my type.”
“She’s sexy, but her face is too plain.”
“She’s ugly, but I’d still tap that from the back.”
And it only gets worse…
So, let me clear the air.
We don’t want you, so stop looking at us as if we do.
Don’t look at every woman as if she’s an option you’re passing up when you were never an option yourself to begin with.
When I met my boyfriend at a party, he was kind, sweet, and started a debate with me without ever giving me a creepy vibe. He respected women, didn’t stare at them in lust, and genuinely had conversations he found interesting. But another guy at the party was the complete opposite. He followed me around like a lost puppy, not seeing me as anything but an object he wanted to use.
Girls see the difference.
Feel the difference.
Know the difference.
We know when you’re looking at us with respect or with hunger.
With curiosity or as a challenge.
With love or with lust.
I never hated men; I just hated the way many men made me feel. Maybe it’s a waste of time wishing for things to be different—people to be different, life to be different—but it’s still a small flicker of longing we women carry inside of us, even in the smallest interactions.
It’s an ache, knowing that the big moments—when crimes are committed, acts of violence are made, and consent is taken—begin with just a crumb of intention.
“The worst thing about street harassment is that every woman knows exactly what you mean.”—Lindy West
Copyright Ⓒ 2026 Anna Limcher. All rights reserved.
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I also have another page called Modern Psycho! I think it’s important to share information, opportunities to learn, and new perspectives for reflection. This blog also provides a theological perspective—one that combines science and spiritual understanding of the mind.
beautiful ❤️❤️
women always know😇who is staring or who is admiring.
This is an issue I think about a lot.
Let me be honest. If a girl is wearing a short skirt or tight leggings I am going to look.
But there is a world of difference between a casual look and staring.
I totally get what you are saying here and it comes down to social conditioning and a basic lack of respect.
Is it getting worse?
Well I am not sure. Forty years ago or more I actually think it was more accepted.
If a woman made an issue out of being stared at she would be dismissed or labelled as a trouble maker. Even by other women sometimes.
Today, at least there are a lot more people speaking out about it.
I still think we have a long way to go.
I try to do my bit, as I work mostly with teenagers. It's so important to empower girls to speak out against harassment. And to educate boys as to what behaviours are unacceptable.